i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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