Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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