hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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