I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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