So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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