There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
