Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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