holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
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Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
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spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
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