I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
