I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
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To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
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my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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