It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
