drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
