Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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