A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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