Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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