If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
