is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers