THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.