Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
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She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
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I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me