girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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