when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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