Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
