I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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