Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I have feelings that need drinking.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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