the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
