its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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