So drunk its hurt
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
