The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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