Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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