When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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