Sry I called you an 8
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
