She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
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keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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