so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
