i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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