i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
