you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
