Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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