I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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