My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
