here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
