i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
