pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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