I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
