i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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