Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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