they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
