Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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