oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
