I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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