I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just want nice things and good sex
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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