Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
