you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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