Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
