We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
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She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
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I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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