I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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